Face the fact. We aren’t perfect. Humans can’t be perfect and we realize that. However, sometimes we don’t seem to accept the consequences of not being perfect. It means we will make mistakes. There’s no if about it. It’s a certainty.
But should we publish them? Should we let others know of our mistakes? After all, it would be dishonest of us to hide all our flaws and show people our good side. And nowadays, it’s cool to rebel and tell people of what you did… right?
Don’t be proud of your mistakes! Hide them and be ashamed.
Hiding your own flaws
You don’t need to show your true self. In fact, you should hide your bad parts. Be ashamed. Don’t be proud. The day you’re proud of your flaws is the day you aren’t even trying to get back on the right path anymore.
In fact, go further! Preach against your own mistakes. Tell other people who are doing it that they shouldn’t. It matters not that you’ve done the same. It doesn’t make you a hypocrite, it makes you a person who cares enough to make sure others don’t repeat the same mistake.
There’s an interesting effect of preaching against your own mistakes. Rather than make you sound like a person who’s holier-than-thou (showing off how good you are), the message actually comes out stronger because you can relate better to that person. You can understand his motivations and his thought process much better. It means you can actually tackle his problems at the right place to solve his problem in a better way.
Hiding the flaws of others
You should also hide the flaws of your fellow Muslims. I’m sure you’ve heard it before:
He who covers a Muslim (his mistakes and shortcomings), Allah will cover him in the Dunya and
the Hereafter.- [Sahih Bukhari]
Projecting a good image
The flip-side of hiding your flaws is that now you’re forced to show only your good side. People generally have a problem with this because they don’t like living a lie. You start having this feeling that what others think of you is false, that you’re not that good and don’t deserve that image. I feel that this is good on 2 counts, both on how it affects you and how it affects others.
First of all, behaviour affects your mindset. It’s not just your thoughts that affect your actions, but also your actions that affect your thoughts. They did a study where they put 2 groups of people to watch the same person. Group A watched him while sitting in a relaxed position while group B watched him while having their arms crossed in front of them (classic disagreeing position). At the end of the test, they surveyed the 2 groups and found those who had crossed their arms had a much higher percentage of disagreeing with the speaker. After doing this a couple of times with multiple groups, they concluded that our posture and our actions affect our thoughts too, not just the other way around.
It makes sense. Now that you’re forced to “act” good all the time around people, at one point you’ll be “acting” good most of the time. Once you’re in the habit, you’ll “act” good all the time. If someone is “acting” good 24/7 for the rest of their life, can you really count that as an “act”? And little by little, it does affect your thought process.
Second, it’s also a good influence on others. No matter how hypocritical you feel, people will only know the image you project. If enough people in society project the same good behaviour, it will be considered the normal behaviour for everyone. The environment that you are in will then be a culture of being kind and just and trustworthy, simply because everyone is that way.
When you’re online
It’s even more important nowadays with our speed of communication and how we interact online. Assuming that everyone has an online presence (no matter how small), how would you like that presence to represent you? Have you ever googled yourself?
When communication is this fast, there’s a tendency to press “Send” before thinking things through. Look at all the comments we have on forums and on youtube.
The lines also get blurred between private and public communication. I’m sure you’ve seen people sending what seems to a private message and posting on another person’s facebook wall? It happens all the time on Twitter too.
Keeping these things in mind, it’s probably best to start worrying about your image online as well. Nowadays, you have potential employers googling you, current employers facebooking you and colleagues or clients checking online to see who you are and what you’re worth. It’s high time to start worrying about how you look online as well as offline.
Your reputation
I think that in the end, your reputation is something that is important and that you need to maintain. It isn’t evil or even bad to want to protect your image. Rather it is a natural reflex and a good reflex. It shows that you are still ashamed and understand that your mistake is not something to be proud of and flaunted to the world.
My entire nation is safe, except al-Mujahirin (those who boast of their sins). Among the Mujaharah is that a man commits an (evil) act, and wakes up in the morning while Allah has kept his (sin) a secret, he says: “O Fulan! Last night I did this and that.” He goes to sleep while Allah has kept his (sin) a secret but he wakes up in the morning and uncovers what Allah has kept a secret!
- [Sahih Bukhari]
That feeling you have of wanting to hide your flaws and make yourself look good in front of others? It’s not wrong to feel that way. That is, as long as you stick to the truth…
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P.S. I couldn’t find words for this. It’s been on the back burner for quite a while. The date on my drafts here says July 2011!
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